Decisions are hard!

If you're a part of Burlington Fellowship congregation and you read the bulletin this morning (during collection, if you're like me...) then some of this will be a repeat for you. But I might just throw in something new, so don't leave! There'll probably be a witty remark or two, so you'd me missing out, really.

If you didn't read last week's post, you should probably do that first, or else this won't make all that much sense... Now, onto the blog.

Everyone seemed to have known my decision before I had the chance to make it. If bets were made, no one would have made any money because no one was betting the other way.

First off, I'd like to thank everyone for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. It's very hard to live feeling your heart being pulled in two directions. But through a lot of Bible reading and studying, prayer and spending time with God, Julia and I have agreed that we feel God is calling me to return in December to Canada and pick up a role God has set for me to fill. Some people may grin or shrug and say 'figured that, no surprise!' but it truly was a hard and long decision to make. While I'm sad to leave the country I've come to love, filled with so many of God's people, I'm excited to transfer what I've learned from them to North America. I told a Nigerian friend and colleague how a part of me wished I could continue the work longer, he told me "it's not the length of time you serve, but the foundation you've laid through your work and relationships which allows others to build on and grow." This has been a comforting thought as I begin to realize I won't be returning to Africa - in the near future, anyway. ;) I've been blessed to be given the opportunity to build on many a relationship foundation.

I hope and pray that the work I've done and continue to do will be built upon for His glory.

A passage we read at church this morning also gave me some comfort. In Matthew 4 there is the well known passage of Christ's temptation by Satan (I prefer the translation of 'test'). In verse one, a verse I've read several times, I finally took note of a significance I never did before.

"Then Jesus was lead by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil."

Christ was led by the Spirit to be tested. Satan didn't drag Him to the desert. It was God who brought Jesus to the desolate and hard terrain of the desert (after 40 days of fasting, no less!) to be tempted by the enemy. The Spirit doesn't always lead us to where we think it would, and it won't necessarily be a walk in the park either! But, if we follow where the Spirit leads, endure the tests put before us and keep God in our hearts... then we will be blessed, and God will be glorified. "Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended Him."

Several of Jesus' rebukes to Satan come from Deuteronomy 8, where Moses is giving a parallel explanation to Israel. Explaining how the hardships they endured, the suffering they were under... was not just punishment.

"The LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you... to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you... but remember the LORD your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth"

Similarly in Judges 2 and 3, God is explained to have caused nations to rise up against the Israelites. "I will use them to test Israel and see whether they will keep the way of the LORD and walk in it as their forefathers did." God also brought up enemies to teach Israel how to defend themselves: "the nations the LORD left to test all those Israelites who had not experiences any of the wars in Canan (He did this only to teach warfare to the descendants of the Israelites who had not had previous battle experience)."

I think we can all find this fits today as well, not just for me in my particular situation. When you see that God arranges for tests as a way to teach; that difficult times are means for God to instill trust in Him alone, then we can truly thank God for hardship. We can't always tell while we are in a time of suffering why we are in this particular suffering. It is possibly that we may never know the exact reason, but we don't NEED to. I don't know for what EXACT reason God is calling me to Canada at a time when I feel much at home here. I know SOME of the reasons, but I can't tell you all of them. I do know it's for my benefit and His glory. And I can't think of any better reasons! (Especially the second one). Maybe you've suffered something so that you can further spread God's love. For example, who better to counsel and help someone who's been abused than someone who'd been abused in the past? We need to use what God has taught us in our school of suffering to display His ever-present hand in our lives.

Praise God for hardships.

Praise God for suffering.

Praise God that He uses us to spread His kingdom.

Praise God that He cares enough about us to test, train and teach us.